tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3810802181257758585.post3989899959768397988..comments2023-10-15T00:19:53.170-07:00Comments on Diary of a Black and White Family: Burying the "strong black woman" stereotypeKaryn L. Folanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01238726147581833093noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3810802181257758585.post-72171422640245177082010-08-10T19:21:21.875-07:002010-08-10T19:21:21.875-07:00Attitudes are changing, and more of us are realizi...Attitudes are changing, and more of us are realizing that it's ok to be a little weak sometimes. <br /><br />By the way, just finished the book this morning. I will post a review on my blog, right after I do a review of Khadija's book, which is overdue.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3810802181257758585.post-10036629870967365832010-08-10T09:02:12.303-07:002010-08-10T09:02:12.303-07:00the 'Strong Black Woman' myth and reality ...the 'Strong Black Woman' myth and reality developed because by and large black men have been absent from the development and progress of the black community.....black children in particular. I agree with you, I'm sick and tired of the strong black woman diatribe, its another way for black men to obsolete their own responsibility as husbands, fathers, brothers and so-called community leaders (that is if its not the kind of leadership where they get rich off the black of the stagnated middle and working class blacks in this country).<br /><br />Every other ethnic and racial community have social norms that allows their women to be vulnerable and even divide the responsibility between men and women.....while in the black community, black women are the only one carrying on the burden.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16767041124542363983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3810802181257758585.post-23295260474858487622010-08-10T05:55:47.178-07:002010-08-10T05:55:47.178-07:00@Jenny-- From my limited experience, I think time ...@Jenny-- From my limited experience, I think time corrects this. As we get older-- and as men get older, more accurately-- these ideas about what's feminine and what's masculine are more malleable. I don't think women should "play down" their independence to attract men. I doubt you'd be happy in a relationship with a man who was repelled by your strong personality--to me, that's the definition of a "creep." But I know what you mean: sometimes being perceived as "strong" attracts men who want to be taken care of and that's not attractive, either. <br /><br />What's important, it seems to me, is to be ourselves-- all of ourselves. The right man is someone who loves us-- warts and all, as they say. Perhaps expanding your horizons outside of your more traditional environment might allow you to meet some new "characters"? If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten! That applies to men, too!<br /><br />Good luck!Karyn L. Folanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01238726147581833093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3810802181257758585.post-90573590146834989342010-08-06T23:06:38.093-07:002010-08-06T23:06:38.093-07:00Right off, I'll say that I've read DBHWB a...Right off, I'll say that I've read DBHWB and generally agree with your position on "the strong black woman." I hope it's something black women can bury in the part at some point.<br /><br />However, single life is difficult. The lopsided population created by the Baby Boom (too many early BB girls for too few pre-BB boys) had its role in creating the strong, independent white woman. The poor marriage market for black women leads them to take on the same characteristics. You have to be strong to compete in the labor force. You have to be strong to defend yourself against those who make it a point to prey on vulnerable single women.<br /><br />I'm mixed, and I grew up in a predominantly white, Christian, conservative, homeschool culture, where vulnerability and femininity are glorified. But now that I'm older, I've learned that those traits don't really help a woman who's alone in the world. I end up being caught in a pickle: my strong personality repels potential husbands, while my femininity attracts creeps. What's the answer?Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11046641822669890457noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3810802181257758585.post-38468223066458277662010-08-03T22:28:05.540-07:002010-08-03T22:28:05.540-07:00I'm one person who hates it. It seems that eve...I'm one person who hates it. It seems that every other women could be ladylike and soft but us(white, Asians, etc.) I'm happy to show that we are 'daughters of Eve' as well and could soften up and be feminine. I know a few black women who are interracially married to white men that are allowed to be soft. Some black men can be that way as well; we just have to learn to let goUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07333270614766373086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3810802181257758585.post-4331894132180016672010-08-03T18:41:09.853-07:002010-08-03T18:41:09.853-07:00Amen. We are human and at times frail just like wo...Amen. We are human and at times frail just like women of every other culture. It's time for us to be free of the crippling pressure of this stereotype!Teehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16168643935807532814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3810802181257758585.post-76753426172610107972010-08-03T18:30:25.091-07:002010-08-03T18:30:25.091-07:00Great post. I have an older sister struggling with...Great post. I have an older sister struggling with this as her only child, a son, slowly succumbs to schizophrenia. I'm afraid she's going to break at any minute.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com